Introduction to an interview that hasn't happened

The details about Nat Johnson are, she's been feeling ill and has taken drugs that have made her feel funny.

She's wearing a blue-net ballgown, but downstairs she was wrapped in a dark woolen overcoat, anonymous. At her feet is the same high-ball half-pint of some blackcurrant concoction she was sipping without a straw but with one eyebrow raised.

Her fringe is split to reveal only her left eyebrow.

She wears a large amber pendant, suspended precisely a golden ratio above her neckline. When she forgets the words to a song, she says, 'Fuck,' as if there's an 'h' in it. When she's remembering the words to a song, she looks up and to the left, and then closes her eyes. She bites her lip during the loud ones.

Jeffrey's been taking photos of Nat from the front. He got in free because he knows the headline. The details about Jeffrey are, he has long, thin and yellow hair, tied back in a ponytail skewed to the left. His converse sneakers are the same colour as red crayons, and he takes digital photographs on the slow setting - flashflashflashFLASH.

Jeffrey came with Juliet. Juliet has a ring like a colossal bronze shell fragment just exploded onto her middle finder. She has a purple trench-coat belted up to the tightest notch and she giggles whenever Jeffrey takes her picture. Under the coat she's wearing a horizontal-striped stretch-top that perfectly accentuates her 36D-cups. She chews the nail of her index finger when she thinks she's thinking and her tights always match her headscarf. Juliet has brown roots under her yellow hair and is drinking water from the tap because they don't serve mineral water here.

The details on here are, there's an email stuck up next to the bar complaining about its clientelle. The barman has a hat like a Yorkshire/Baseball mongrel and is stingy with his blackcurrant.